She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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