Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
