Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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