i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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