my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
