So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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