we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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