Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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