Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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