We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
