the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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