Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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