I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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