i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
