Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
