spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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