I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
