we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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