i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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