Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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