If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
