Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
