Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
