the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
