maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
