after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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