can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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