i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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