my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
