So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
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Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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