I am puke
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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