K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
