you guys were way drunker than both of me
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
