Where did you get a picture of my penis
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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