My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
