This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I supernannyed him into submission
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
