By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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