wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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