Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just sent this text using only my big toe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
