I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
