They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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