So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
