i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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