he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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