ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
