watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
