therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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