A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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