hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
