Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
