im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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