i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
