just come out here and I will go home with you...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize