Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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