ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
