I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
