You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
