Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
