Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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