i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
