I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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