Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
