Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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